Same Sex Marriage - A Battle for the Soul of the CofE?

I have spent the last ten days or so mentally processing the recent statement from the CofE's House of Bishops regarding LGBTQI+ relationships, their apology to the LGBTQI+ community and the draft 'Prayers of Love and Faith'. 

Unlike so many other members of the LGBTQI+ community and our ever-growing number of supporters, I was not disappointed by the outcome of the bishops' deliberations. This wasn't because I was delighted with the outcome - far from it; rather it's because I realised that it would be absurd to expect the bishops to approve same-sex marriage when they are still clearly divided on the issue and while there is no possibility of attaining the necessary majorities in all three houses of General Synod for approval of a change in our doctrine of marriage. In any event, having grappled with the CofE's approach to sexuality for over forty years, I have learned never to have high expectations of the CofE in general and the House of Bishops in particular. I recognise that this is a form of self-defence against false expectations and constant debilitating disappointment, so I make no apology for my scepticism.  

So how do I feel about recent developments?

I certainly welcome what feels like a very small and tentative step forward. 

I'm daring to feel slightly heartened that the bishops seem to be moving, albeit very cautiously, in a more affirming direction. More significantly, I welcome the fact that individual bishops of varying shades of opinion are now speaking out and expressing their personal views. This is a major change. For decades most bishops who were supportive on LGBTQI+ issues expressed that support only behind closed doors, whilst publicly toeing the party line. More recently, a deliberate corporate silence has been maintained (or maybe enforced) supposedly so as not to muddy the waters whilst the 'Living in Love and Faith' process was underway. I never bought into this reasoning and I still don't. Personally I've never understood why, whilst maintaining a united front in terms of practice and complying with  the church's current teaching,  individual bishops couldn't from the outset voice their conscience and speak honestly into the debate. I believe this silence was symptomatic of the toxicity that surrounds this whole issue. Sadly, the toxicity remains, and many of us are bracing ourselves for an extremely turbulent and potentially bloody General Synod in February.

In other respects, I fear that what the bishops have produced - albeit with the best of intentions - is far too little, far too late and will actually satisfy no-one. In fact, in re-iterating that same sex marriage isn't possible in the Church of England, and by producing their 'Prayers of Love and Faith' (which don't really bless a gay couple as a couple, still less their civil marriage) the bishops have enshrined a form of apartheid. In a sense, despite their fine words of 'apology', they have made official what we already felt i.e. that 'loved and welcome' as we supposedly are, those of us who LGBTQI+ are second class citizens. 

We all realise,  of course, that the careful wording of the prayers is to placate those who fiercely oppose any change in the church's position, but the truth is that no-one is fooled. Many of those who advocate for change will be frustrated - perhaps even insulted - by the grudging 'not quite a blessing' terminology of the Prayers of Love and Faith, whilst conservatives see it all as a dangerous step towards the acceptance of same-sex marriage. Some Anglican 'fudges' work, at least for a time.  I fear that this one won't.

Speaking of time, the Bishops have indicated that they plan to have a five year period of reflection to see how things go and then to decide what next steps, if any, should be taken. Potentially this means  five years of inactivity after which it will probably be decided that a report must be commissioned, followed by (dare I say it?)  a 'period of listening'. The clatter that you hear is the sound of the can being kicked into the long grass, but whilst this (non)strategy may have worked in the past, I doubt it will succeed now. I suspect that the LGBTQI+ community, both within and outside the CofE, wider society (and in particular younger people - the very group that the church is desperately trying to attract) and even Parliament, will not tolerate such procrastination.

The bishops, of course, are desperate to hold the Church together, but it's hard to see how they can now do so. I don't envy them their task. There was a time in living memory when the breadth and character of the CofE was such that widely opposing views could be accommodated with charity and respect. Evangelicals, Anglo-Catholics and Liberals, traditionalists and modernisers, lived comfortably side by side in a climate where legislation was permissive so that there was scope and respect for the exercise of individual conscience. Such was, I believe, the true spirit of Anglicanism. 

Today's CofE (and for that matter the Anglican  Communion) seems to have a quite different ethos. There is now much less tolerance of those with differing views, an insistence that "We will have the church on our terms only" and a  weaponising of finance. For some years now there has been an elephant in the room - a battle for the soul of the CofE.

A wise priest once said to me, "Sexuality isn't the big issue for the church. The real big issue is what sort of church we want to be, how we approach reading and interpreting the Bible and how we do our Theology. That's a big can of worms, and the sexuality debate is nothing more than the tin opener." 

I find those words as chilling and disturbing now as I did then. They do, however, explain how sexuality has bizarrely become a 'first order' issue when in reality it's the underlying questions of Theology and Biblical authority that are truly 'first order'. If my friend was right (and I see growing evidence that he probably was) then the LGBTQI+ community is nothing more than collateral in a much bigger battle. 

One thing is certain, unless the CofE can somehow recover its willingness and ability to live with compromise and to hold differing views in a creative tension rather than a destructive one, it will by default become a very different sort of church. In the meantime, as a growing number of other churches - including Anglican churches in other provinces - do genuinely and unconditionally welcome  and marry same sex couples, those of us who are LGBTQI+ will need to decide whether we love the CofE enough to live in what in reality still feels  like a climate of grudging tolerance, despite the recent words and actions of the House of Bishops.