The Fire Rekindled : Reflections on OFM 2019
"You've come back. How lovely".
This was how I was greeted by a number of people at this year's On Fire Mission Conference at High Leigh. As last year was my first attendance there, I was impressed and moved that people remembered me. This year I was accompanied by a parishioner and a fellow priest from a neighbouring diocese - both first-timers - and I was delighted to observe how warmly they too were welcomed. On Fire Mission feels very much like a family, and it's good to see that there's a genuine readiness to welcome new people to the family, thus avoiding becoming a clique.
With a good idea of what to expect, and having spent the last year 'growing into' my newly found identity as a Charismatic Catholic, I knew that this year's conference wouldn't have the same seismic spiritual and emotional impact as its predecessor. This proved to be true, but the experience was nevertheless profoundly joyful and renewing.
I was particularly struck this year by how totally at ease with itself OFM actually is. Its inclusivity feels both genuine and natural, resulting in people being freed to genuinely be themselves - warts and all - whether in the context of informal conversations, group discussions or prayer ministry. If only our churches could all be as open as this!
Once again the worship was truly uplifting and the music excellent. Our three speakers - Paul Harcourt from 'New Wine' - Sister Gemma Simmonds CJ - and Bishop Stephen Conway all gave thought-provoking and moving addresses with a liberal sprinkling of humour and challenge. Despite inevitable contrasts in style, content and theological perspective, it was surprising (or was it?) how many common strands emerged.
I heard a couple of people say - very positively - that this year's conference felt more Catholic. I'm not sure that I would necessarily agree, but the liturgy certainly had a very traditional Catholic feel, albeit relaxed and unfussy. Even my own liturgical pedantry contained itself when priests gave the episcopal triple blessing at Benediction. Should such a thing happen at Walsingham I'd probably contribute to the chorus of precious tut-tutting and look up to see if the sky was falling in, but at OFM that would be rather ridiculous, and in any event perhaps this was just another sign of the profligacy of God's grace!
Interestingly, I found myself wishing at various points that the Charismatic element of worship had been a little less restrained. This possibly says more about me than it does about the conference. I know that my own Charismatic spirituality has become a little more advanced and maybe I was subconsciously looking to be pushed a little further out of my comfort zone.
If not more Catholic, the worship this year certainly felt rather more contemplative. For most people, the balance was probably about right, and whilst I'm the first to say that it's important that Charismatic Christians find time for stillness and contemplation, I recognise that this part of my spirituality tends to be fed elsewhere.
This year I had the privilege of sharing in prayer ministry on three separate occasions, as well as being a recipient. Once again I was struck by the genuine loving concern of the prayer teams, and by the willingness of those seeking prayer to make themselves so vulnerable. At this gathering, the love that the family members have for each other as well as for their Lord is every bit as palpable as the joy of their worship.
I have to be honest and say that my heart sank when I realised that the final worship session was going to be an extended Eucharist incorporating group discussions about the future direction of OFM. I know that many of us, whilst having been richly blessed, were also feeling rather tired and looking forward to ending the conference with an uplifting Mass. However, although I would still question the timing, I found this exercise much more helpful than I had expected, and there are clearly some interesting questions and challenges for the Trustees to address over the coming months and years. Ending this session with prayer and anointing within the small groups was both entirely appropriate and profoundly moving.
As the Conference drew to a close there were tears in my eyes, as indeed there had been at various points. As a gay Christian who often struggles with the church as an institution, and as a Catholic minded priest who often feels alienated from the HTB-style evangelicalism that some uphold as the only credible current and future model of Church, OFM has quickly become my Spiritual Home. It's the place where I can most honestly and fully be myself. It's the place where I can most fully open myself to the love of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. It's the place where I can be most empowered to continue in what is often a demanding, challenging and exhausting ministry.
I thank God for On Fire Mission, and I thank all those people who in any way contributed to this year's conference. You probably won't be surprised to hear that I've already booked for next year.
Oh and by the way - my two friends loved it too!
This was how I was greeted by a number of people at this year's On Fire Mission Conference at High Leigh. As last year was my first attendance there, I was impressed and moved that people remembered me. This year I was accompanied by a parishioner and a fellow priest from a neighbouring diocese - both first-timers - and I was delighted to observe how warmly they too were welcomed. On Fire Mission feels very much like a family, and it's good to see that there's a genuine readiness to welcome new people to the family, thus avoiding becoming a clique.
With a good idea of what to expect, and having spent the last year 'growing into' my newly found identity as a Charismatic Catholic, I knew that this year's conference wouldn't have the same seismic spiritual and emotional impact as its predecessor. This proved to be true, but the experience was nevertheless profoundly joyful and renewing.
I was particularly struck this year by how totally at ease with itself OFM actually is. Its inclusivity feels both genuine and natural, resulting in people being freed to genuinely be themselves - warts and all - whether in the context of informal conversations, group discussions or prayer ministry. If only our churches could all be as open as this!
Once again the worship was truly uplifting and the music excellent. Our three speakers - Paul Harcourt from 'New Wine' - Sister Gemma Simmonds CJ - and Bishop Stephen Conway all gave thought-provoking and moving addresses with a liberal sprinkling of humour and challenge. Despite inevitable contrasts in style, content and theological perspective, it was surprising (or was it?) how many common strands emerged.
I heard a couple of people say - very positively - that this year's conference felt more Catholic. I'm not sure that I would necessarily agree, but the liturgy certainly had a very traditional Catholic feel, albeit relaxed and unfussy. Even my own liturgical pedantry contained itself when priests gave the episcopal triple blessing at Benediction. Should such a thing happen at Walsingham I'd probably contribute to the chorus of precious tut-tutting and look up to see if the sky was falling in, but at OFM that would be rather ridiculous, and in any event perhaps this was just another sign of the profligacy of God's grace!
Interestingly, I found myself wishing at various points that the Charismatic element of worship had been a little less restrained. This possibly says more about me than it does about the conference. I know that my own Charismatic spirituality has become a little more advanced and maybe I was subconsciously looking to be pushed a little further out of my comfort zone.
If not more Catholic, the worship this year certainly felt rather more contemplative. For most people, the balance was probably about right, and whilst I'm the first to say that it's important that Charismatic Christians find time for stillness and contemplation, I recognise that this part of my spirituality tends to be fed elsewhere.
This year I had the privilege of sharing in prayer ministry on three separate occasions, as well as being a recipient. Once again I was struck by the genuine loving concern of the prayer teams, and by the willingness of those seeking prayer to make themselves so vulnerable. At this gathering, the love that the family members have for each other as well as for their Lord is every bit as palpable as the joy of their worship.
I have to be honest and say that my heart sank when I realised that the final worship session was going to be an extended Eucharist incorporating group discussions about the future direction of OFM. I know that many of us, whilst having been richly blessed, were also feeling rather tired and looking forward to ending the conference with an uplifting Mass. However, although I would still question the timing, I found this exercise much more helpful than I had expected, and there are clearly some interesting questions and challenges for the Trustees to address over the coming months and years. Ending this session with prayer and anointing within the small groups was both entirely appropriate and profoundly moving.
As the Conference drew to a close there were tears in my eyes, as indeed there had been at various points. As a gay Christian who often struggles with the church as an institution, and as a Catholic minded priest who often feels alienated from the HTB-style evangelicalism that some uphold as the only credible current and future model of Church, OFM has quickly become my Spiritual Home. It's the place where I can most honestly and fully be myself. It's the place where I can most fully open myself to the love of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. It's the place where I can be most empowered to continue in what is often a demanding, challenging and exhausting ministry.
I thank God for On Fire Mission, and I thank all those people who in any way contributed to this year's conference. You probably won't be surprised to hear that I've already booked for next year.
Oh and by the way - my two friends loved it too!
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