Truly On Fire!
It was with very mixed feelings that I set out last week to attend the 2018 On Fire Mission conference at High Leigh Conference Centre. On the one hand, I was excited at the prospect of further exploring a recently awakened Charismatic spirituality which had lain dormant for well over thirty years; on the other, I was uncertain of quite what to expect, particularly in relation to the excesses and abuses that had driven me away from Charismatic Christianity in the first place.
Fortunately, On Fire Mission wasn't entirely new to me. It describes itself as '..... a network, rooted in the Church of England, which is dedicated to promoting charismatic renewal blended with the riches of Catholic spirituality', and since the epiphany that re-opened my eyes as a 'card-carrying Anglo-Catholic' to the power of the Holy Spirit, I have attended OFM's annual Midlands Renewal Days for the last three years. I knew, therefore, that the worship would be firmly Catholic and sacramental in ethos, with uplifting contemporary music, prayer ministry and an openness to the gifts of the Spirit.
I certainly need not have worried about the reception I would receive. Seldom have I been made to feel so welcome and so quickly 'at home' at a Christian gathering. The organisers had 'coded' attendees' name badges so that first-timers could be easily spotted and shepherded as necessary to the right place. It soon became apparent that although there was a large core of regular attendees who knew each other very well, there were plenty of newcomers and enquirers, some of whom were clearly more at home with the Catholic than with the Charismatic and vice-versa. It was clear, however, that all were genuinely and equally welcome.
A special drinks reception for first-timers included a gentle, accessible and helpful explanation of what to expect and was a good opportunity to meet with the conference organisers.
In the event, the keynote speakers gave excellent, humorous and thought-provoking addresses, the various workshops encompassed subjects as diverse as 'Charismatic Renewal', 'Benediction - How and Why?' and 'Prayer Drumming', and the worship from the outset - led by a superb team of musicians - was truly uplifting.
For me, the most striking thing about this conference was the palpable sense of love and joy. I guess the fact that this was so remarkable is a sad reflection on much of our everyday Church life and the dourness of some Catholic worship. To be sure, everyone attending the conference would be a fallen and fallible human being as are all members of Christ's Church, and I have no doubt that there will inevitably be some internal 'politics' that bubble away at the heart of this movement as in any other, but none of this was evident, and it certainly didn't undermine the sense of this being a gathering of Christ's family meeting in a spirit of openness and inclusivity to truly celebrate their faith.
As I sat waiting for the opening worship to begin, a woman next to me asked if I had been to anything like this before. When I told her that I'd been to the Midlands Renewal Days, she nodded reassuringly and said, "Ah, you shouldn't be too freaked-out by anything then." Whilst I knew that I wouldn't be 'freaked out' I did, however recognise that there would be some things that I might find more challenging than others.
My main area of concern was the practice commonly known as 'slaying in the spirit' where, during prayer ministry, an individual falls to the ground, often remaining there for some time. It became apparent in the Charismatic Renewal workshop that just as the use of incense is a step too far into Catholicism for some people, so this practice is a Charismatic 'red line' for some. I realised that I wasn't alone in finding the term 'Slaying in the Spirit' somewhat inappropriate and aggressive, and wondering whether some unscrupulous ministers actually push people over, or whether the falling could be seen as an hysterical response to whipped-up emotion.
I was hugely relieved to first of all hear that the OFM vocabulary favours the expression 'Resting in the Spirit'. The language feels much more Christian in tone, and it shifts the focus back onto the person being prayed with/for, rather than on those doing the praying. Indeed it was conceded in the workshop that in some contexts, ministers feel under pressure to 'slay' a number of people, supposedly to prove the validity of their ministry or as a simple ego booster. This is, of course, tantamount to spiritual and physical abuse and is one of the more harmful excesses of the Charismatic movement that needs to be guarded against.
Having heard what was said in the workshop, having observed at close hand what happened during prayer ministry at the conference, and having then both administered and received this ministry myself, I have to say that I was hugely re-assured and most of my misgivings allayed. Teams of three people prayed with each individual, always quietly and gently. For many (myself included) this created a real sense of God's love and inner peace. When some fell to the ground, it was clearly an act of surrender to this sense of peace and the healing to which it gives rise. Hysteria? No. An emotional and physical response to a profound spiritual stimulus? Almost certainly. The Holy Spirit at work? Yes, but for me not so much in the sense of the mighty rushing wind (ruach) dramatically pushing the individual over, but rather in the sense of the gentle breath of God (pneuma) bringing a renewed sense of His presence prompting a surrender to his love and care.
I am sure that some people are more psychologically susceptible to this than others, but what does that matter? I was certainly not aware of anyone's emotions being manipulated, nor of anyone being pressurised to fall, still less of anyone being physically pushed over. There was no abuse of any kind here, just genuine prayer and concern.
When I up went for prayer ministry myself, I was aware of a great inner peace, and had I not made an active decision to stay upright, (too much of a control-freak perhaps?) I could easily imagine just going with the flow and gently falling into the arms of those ready to catch and and lower me gently to the floor. In the event, the one slightly disconcerting element was that from the moment the prayer started, my lower body started shaking quite violently. I have no idea why this was, although I gather from my reading on the subject that this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Could it have been nerves? Somehow I doubt it, because I felt so totally at peace, and in any event when nervous it's usually my upper body - and especially my hands - that tremble, and they stayed absolutely still. The shaking stopped when the prayer stopped, and I guess what really matters is that I felt absolutely wonderful afterwards. Perhaps I'm too analytical! I'm certainly pleased to say that I'm now much more at ease with this aspect of Charismatic spirituality providing it's done - as it was here - with appropriate sensitivity, caution and a proper regard to safeguarding issues.
The other areas that I've never been entirely sure about are Prophecy and Words of Knowledge i.e. where people articulate words supposedly given them by the Holy Spirit. In my previous experience, any prophetic message has usually been couched in remarkably biblical terms, and if I'm absolutely honest, has felt rather contrived. There was very little of this at the conference, although there was a powerful, contemplative time after each Eucharist during which we 'waited on the spirit' and several people did choose to share a 'word of knowledge' - often a thought or image that had come into their minds or (more rarely) a specific message that was intended for an unnamed member of the congregation. It occurs to me that perhaps we (or do I mean I?) tend to over-mysticise this particular practice. After all, I'm frequently told that something I've said in a sermon or even a throw-away comment in a study group has spoken in a particular way to a specific person or seems to have addressed their particular situation. Who am I to say that this is or isn't God at work, and if God can send a message that resonates with individuals through a sermon, does it not naturally follow that he can also do it through the thoughts and ideas that might pop into people's minds as they consciously and prayerfully wait upon God, however banal some of them may sometimes sound?
In short, my experiences at High Leigh have enabled me to see many of the traditional manifestations of the Holy Spirit as being a 'natural' response to the supernatural and that the Holy Spirit often works through our human instincts and emotions. This being so, there is certainly nothing to 'freak us out'; there is, however, plenty to evoke in us a sense of awe and wonder and celebration - characteristics of both Catholic and Charismatic worship which come together in a heady mix at The On Fire Mission.
I came away from the conference feeling renewed, exhilarated, energised and affirmed, even if I had - and still have - much to process. I shall certainly go again in the future and I have no hesitation in recommending it to others who want to explore the place of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
So I thank God for the work of On Fire Mission. From conversations that I had with a number of lay people and clergy alike, the annual conference clearly encourages, inspires and equips them for their life and ministry back in their parishes. For some - perhaps many - carrying what they receive at OFM and sharing it with others back home is a huge challenge, for various reasons, and I do wonder whether there are ways in which OFM could become more outward-going and develop its missional work by, for example, resourcing parish missions. In the meantime, I'm grateful for the renewed confidence that OFM has given me to describe myself as a Charismatic Catholic and I'm delighted to now be part of this wonderfully supportive Spirit-filled family.
Fortunately, On Fire Mission wasn't entirely new to me. It describes itself as '..... a network, rooted in the Church of England, which is dedicated to promoting charismatic renewal blended with the riches of Catholic spirituality', and since the epiphany that re-opened my eyes as a 'card-carrying Anglo-Catholic' to the power of the Holy Spirit, I have attended OFM's annual Midlands Renewal Days for the last three years. I knew, therefore, that the worship would be firmly Catholic and sacramental in ethos, with uplifting contemporary music, prayer ministry and an openness to the gifts of the Spirit.
I certainly need not have worried about the reception I would receive. Seldom have I been made to feel so welcome and so quickly 'at home' at a Christian gathering. The organisers had 'coded' attendees' name badges so that first-timers could be easily spotted and shepherded as necessary to the right place. It soon became apparent that although there was a large core of regular attendees who knew each other very well, there were plenty of newcomers and enquirers, some of whom were clearly more at home with the Catholic than with the Charismatic and vice-versa. It was clear, however, that all were genuinely and equally welcome.
A special drinks reception for first-timers included a gentle, accessible and helpful explanation of what to expect and was a good opportunity to meet with the conference organisers.
In the event, the keynote speakers gave excellent, humorous and thought-provoking addresses, the various workshops encompassed subjects as diverse as 'Charismatic Renewal', 'Benediction - How and Why?' and 'Prayer Drumming', and the worship from the outset - led by a superb team of musicians - was truly uplifting.
For me, the most striking thing about this conference was the palpable sense of love and joy. I guess the fact that this was so remarkable is a sad reflection on much of our everyday Church life and the dourness of some Catholic worship. To be sure, everyone attending the conference would be a fallen and fallible human being as are all members of Christ's Church, and I have no doubt that there will inevitably be some internal 'politics' that bubble away at the heart of this movement as in any other, but none of this was evident, and it certainly didn't undermine the sense of this being a gathering of Christ's family meeting in a spirit of openness and inclusivity to truly celebrate their faith.
As I sat waiting for the opening worship to begin, a woman next to me asked if I had been to anything like this before. When I told her that I'd been to the Midlands Renewal Days, she nodded reassuringly and said, "Ah, you shouldn't be too freaked-out by anything then." Whilst I knew that I wouldn't be 'freaked out' I did, however recognise that there would be some things that I might find more challenging than others.My main area of concern was the practice commonly known as 'slaying in the spirit' where, during prayer ministry, an individual falls to the ground, often remaining there for some time. It became apparent in the Charismatic Renewal workshop that just as the use of incense is a step too far into Catholicism for some people, so this practice is a Charismatic 'red line' for some. I realised that I wasn't alone in finding the term 'Slaying in the Spirit' somewhat inappropriate and aggressive, and wondering whether some unscrupulous ministers actually push people over, or whether the falling could be seen as an hysterical response to whipped-up emotion.
I was hugely relieved to first of all hear that the OFM vocabulary favours the expression 'Resting in the Spirit'. The language feels much more Christian in tone, and it shifts the focus back onto the person being prayed with/for, rather than on those doing the praying. Indeed it was conceded in the workshop that in some contexts, ministers feel under pressure to 'slay' a number of people, supposedly to prove the validity of their ministry or as a simple ego booster. This is, of course, tantamount to spiritual and physical abuse and is one of the more harmful excesses of the Charismatic movement that needs to be guarded against.
Having heard what was said in the workshop, having observed at close hand what happened during prayer ministry at the conference, and having then both administered and received this ministry myself, I have to say that I was hugely re-assured and most of my misgivings allayed. Teams of three people prayed with each individual, always quietly and gently. For many (myself included) this created a real sense of God's love and inner peace. When some fell to the ground, it was clearly an act of surrender to this sense of peace and the healing to which it gives rise. Hysteria? No. An emotional and physical response to a profound spiritual stimulus? Almost certainly. The Holy Spirit at work? Yes, but for me not so much in the sense of the mighty rushing wind (ruach) dramatically pushing the individual over, but rather in the sense of the gentle breath of God (pneuma) bringing a renewed sense of His presence prompting a surrender to his love and care.
I am sure that some people are more psychologically susceptible to this than others, but what does that matter? I was certainly not aware of anyone's emotions being manipulated, nor of anyone being pressurised to fall, still less of anyone being physically pushed over. There was no abuse of any kind here, just genuine prayer and concern.
When I up went for prayer ministry myself, I was aware of a great inner peace, and had I not made an active decision to stay upright, (too much of a control-freak perhaps?) I could easily imagine just going with the flow and gently falling into the arms of those ready to catch and and lower me gently to the floor. In the event, the one slightly disconcerting element was that from the moment the prayer started, my lower body started shaking quite violently. I have no idea why this was, although I gather from my reading on the subject that this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Could it have been nerves? Somehow I doubt it, because I felt so totally at peace, and in any event when nervous it's usually my upper body - and especially my hands - that tremble, and they stayed absolutely still. The shaking stopped when the prayer stopped, and I guess what really matters is that I felt absolutely wonderful afterwards. Perhaps I'm too analytical! I'm certainly pleased to say that I'm now much more at ease with this aspect of Charismatic spirituality providing it's done - as it was here - with appropriate sensitivity, caution and a proper regard to safeguarding issues.
The other areas that I've never been entirely sure about are Prophecy and Words of Knowledge i.e. where people articulate words supposedly given them by the Holy Spirit. In my previous experience, any prophetic message has usually been couched in remarkably biblical terms, and if I'm absolutely honest, has felt rather contrived. There was very little of this at the conference, although there was a powerful, contemplative time after each Eucharist during which we 'waited on the spirit' and several people did choose to share a 'word of knowledge' - often a thought or image that had come into their minds or (more rarely) a specific message that was intended for an unnamed member of the congregation. It occurs to me that perhaps we (or do I mean I?) tend to over-mysticise this particular practice. After all, I'm frequently told that something I've said in a sermon or even a throw-away comment in a study group has spoken in a particular way to a specific person or seems to have addressed their particular situation. Who am I to say that this is or isn't God at work, and if God can send a message that resonates with individuals through a sermon, does it not naturally follow that he can also do it through the thoughts and ideas that might pop into people's minds as they consciously and prayerfully wait upon God, however banal some of them may sometimes sound?
In short, my experiences at High Leigh have enabled me to see many of the traditional manifestations of the Holy Spirit as being a 'natural' response to the supernatural and that the Holy Spirit often works through our human instincts and emotions. This being so, there is certainly nothing to 'freak us out'; there is, however, plenty to evoke in us a sense of awe and wonder and celebration - characteristics of both Catholic and Charismatic worship which come together in a heady mix at The On Fire Mission. I came away from the conference feeling renewed, exhilarated, energised and affirmed, even if I had - and still have - much to process. I shall certainly go again in the future and I have no hesitation in recommending it to others who want to explore the place of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
So I thank God for the work of On Fire Mission. From conversations that I had with a number of lay people and clergy alike, the annual conference clearly encourages, inspires and equips them for their life and ministry back in their parishes. For some - perhaps many - carrying what they receive at OFM and sharing it with others back home is a huge challenge, for various reasons, and I do wonder whether there are ways in which OFM could become more outward-going and develop its missional work by, for example, resourcing parish missions. In the meantime, I'm grateful for the renewed confidence that OFM has given me to describe myself as a Charismatic Catholic and I'm delighted to now be part of this wonderfully supportive Spirit-filled family.
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