Good Grief?
My mother died recently. The death was neither unexpected nor, to be honest, entirely unwelcome, for she had been seriously ill with dementia for the best part of two years. Dementia is a cruel disease that takes our loved one from us a piece at a time, and I started grieving for her several months ago as I sat by her bedside in the Nursing Home, listening to her unbearable screams, cries of distress and incoherent ramblings, and seeing in her eyes only pain and fear and, often, no vestige of recognition. When I received the inevitable phone call telling me that Mum had died, my sadness was more than equalled by a sense of relief that her suffering was ended and she was at last at peace. "I've been grieving for my mother for the last year or so," I would say, "because the woman who was my Mum is long gone". But if I imagined that this 'pre-grieving' would somehow diminish the pain of bereavement, I was mistaken. Grief, as we all know, is a strange